Rambling
by santanal0ve
Summary: Santana and Finn find each other during summer session and both fall harder than they imagine. This is santanas POV


It had been two weeks since school started. Two long weeks that Santana Lopez spent almost every night crying, but no one is supposed to know that. She felt terrible. See it really started 2 months ago. She did summer session at Kent State and loved every minute of it. But once the fall semester actually started is when she messed up.

See Finn was spending his summer at Kent State too, being that it was required for football players. He knew he was going to be red-shirted this year but he was still so stoked that he got scouted to play and be part of a team. They were division one and a pretty big deal for someone from Lima to be given a scholarship.

When they ran into each other on her first day moving in, of course he offered to show her around. He had already been there a week and loved it. She debated it because why the hell would she want to spend a day with Finn Hudson by herself, then she realized she kinda didn't have anyone else. Her suite mate didn't moved in yet, she wasn't going to be there til fall semester begins, and yeah of course she got a suite that had 2 separate bedrooms and had her own bathroom and living room cause there was no way in hell she would be sharing a bathroom with everyone on the floor of a dorm hall. He had a pretty cool set up too; it was the first thing he showed her. He had his own good sized room with a bathroom, all the football players live in this building and have like no rules cause there gods on campus.

He showed her all the best places to eat, where the football games would be at, the library and the main building she had to go to for her first day. It was weird because she found herself watching Finn way more than she was looking where they were at. His voice was a little gruffy and she can tell he hasn't slept much. He had on some kind of cologne that smelled way too good for her to stray away from him. The way he smiled every so often made her realize he really does like it here. Whenever they past people they all gave him a head nod or wanted to shake his hand, and to be honest it didn't suck as much as she thought it would to be with him. She could have corrected a small group of guys they passed that she heard saying "damn check out Hudson and his girl." She didn't want to embarrass Finn, she was sure his ego is already pretty bruised from Rachel dumping him, which she didn't want brought up either. She was pretty sure Finn heard them too cause he just looked at her and smiled nervously.

It actually sucked when she was back in her room alone. He walked her to her door and asked if she needed any help, she wanted to say yes but didn't know how. When she finally decided to text him that she was lonely it came out a little too needy than she wanted. He was leaving the gym and laughed when she told him to shower quickly because she doesn't like to be kept waiting. He was back at her place 15 minutes exactly from when she texted him. His hair was still wet and he smelled so good it was not fair.

The weirdest part is how bad she wanted him. She kept staring at his lips while he spoke. She would stare at his body, sitting on her hands so that she would accidently touch him. They were just watching TV and god all she wanted was him. The worst thing was is she couldn't tell if he could ever want her back. She was almost sure that he thought she was still a lesbian, but she wasn't. Just because you like one girl, does not mean she likes all girls. Brittany was just an exception to what she is into. When she decided to play with his hair she saw he got nervous. She just reached her arm around to his head and start running her fingers through the back down to where there were a little hairs that needed to be cut. She saw his eyes get a little wide and he nervously whipped his palms against his knees. She was totally turned directly towards him and just staring.

"Not that I'm not like enjoying this but what are you doing?"

She brought her lips to his ear "I can't help myself, you smell so good"

He smiled. Her legs were bare since it was summer time and of course she put on the smallest pair of shorts she could find knowing he was coming over. He put his hand on her knee squeezing it a little as she stayed close to his face still running her fingers through his hair. She started sucking a little on his neck and he still didn't know what to do. She saw him swallow hard.

"Santana if your just teasing me then I'm going to have to leave because I don't long how I can hold back." The words came out so shaky he was blushing.

"Oh I am most defiantly teasing you, but who said anything about you having to hold back?" She pretty much purred in his ear. She strattled his legs with her knees on either side of his hips and her bare thighs were soon met with his fingers running up and down them. They just stared at eachother for a while. He finally pulled her close kissing her like he had something to prove, and I guess he really did since she has been mocking their first time together since it happened. She honestly felt like she could fall apart right then and there. He had her pulled so close with his arm around the small of her back griping her side and his other hand in her hair pretty tight to let her know she wasn't going anywhere, not that she would or anything it just felt good to feel like he was kinda holding on to her for dear life.

When he picked her up, he just slid his arm around her ass and kept his hand in her hair and it was weird how natural it was. He didn't even fumble with her and didn't even break the kiss. When he laid her down on her bed he was so gentle with her that it made her smile. He kissed and sucked on her neck as he ran his hands up and down her sides. His hands found their way to her ass every once and a while. And don't get her wrong it felt amazing but he wasn't trying to push it any further. She pushed at his shoulders and he backed away leaning and still looking at her when she pulled her shirt over her head. She wasn't wearing a bra of course.

"This is the last piece of clothing that I am taking off by myself." He smiled and couldn't stop staring at her, and it kinda made her nervous but she would never tell him that so she rolled her eyes told him to man up and he took of his shirt because he didn't want to make her mad or anything.

It surprisingly didn't take long for him to start sliding down her shorts. He left her panties on much to her dismay. He laid in-between her legs to go back to kissing her when he realized how wet she was against his stomach. He looked down at her.

"What?" She asked roughly

"I've never had someone like that wet for me. Actually I think you are the only one that has ever been and it's been a while since ya know since I felt that and It just feels awesome and…"

"Finn your rambling." He removed her panties and she had to literally bite down when she felt him lick her across her center. He literally was insanely good that it wasn't fair. Her hand found her way back into his hair as soon as she regained movement. He did something she never could remember happening before; he kissed her clit once he was done. She came twice and the smirk on his face when he came back up was a little too big for her liking. She couldn't blame him because the noises that came out of her when he was down there were pretty loud.

When he stood up she was nervous that he thought they were done because there is no way in hell that he was leaving before she had him inside of her. When he dropped his shorts and underwear she licked her lips absentmindedly in anticipation. She doesn't know what came over her when she told him he better not dare put a condom on because she wanted to feel all of him. He teased her a little too much. He was rock hard and she knew he had to be dying. When he finally trusted into her, he muffled her moan with his kiss. He didn't move for a couple seconds and though she would never tell him, she was thankful for that. He was huge. Like she honestly didn't know how she was ever going to be with anyone again because there couldn't be anything bigger. She snapped that thought out of her head real quick because she absolutely cannot think about not being with someone else, like hello this is just Finn. He moved slow but with a steady rhythm and he was kissing her the whole time. She wrapped her legs so tight around his waist and found herself not wanting to let go of him. When she pulled away from their kiss to catch her breath a little he moved right to her neck, it was like he couldn't get enough of her. He kept rubbing his hands up and down her, kissing her all over and not to mention easing into thrusting harder to hit her spot. She bit down on his should the first time he hit it, because she couldn't remember the last time someone did. When they release its together and he still made sure to guide her through her orgasm, he kissed all over her neck and her lips and bit her lip and drug it down a little which if you ask her was the sexiest thing in the world.

He laid ontop of her once they were finish, but he stayed inside of her. She wanted to push him off but she honestly didn't even have an energy left too.

"You're so beautiful" He said looking directly at her. When she didn't respond it was because she didn't know how to say thank you without being cocky. "I wanted to tell you that this whole time but I didn't want you to think I was just saying it because we were having sex." The only thing she could think of doing is kiss him, so she did long and hard. She could feel him starting to get half hard again inside of her. "You're not so bad yourself either Hudson" she purred in his ear again. He made her come apart twice more, and released in her again slightly after her second time.

"Do you want me to stay over, I mean I don't want you to be lonely all night and get scared and since you don't have roommates yet I don't mind sleeping here." He was actually blushing like they didn't just have sex or something.

"You mean you don't mind sleeping with me."

He didn't say anything he just gave a nervous grin.

"Finn this is just sex, and that's all it's ever going to be." He swallowed hard and stood up and left. She's mad because she didn't stay he couldn't stay it was already close to 2 in the morning and she would be pissed if he made her leave so she didn't say too, but she didn't want to give him false hope.

She's surprised when he said yes to having just sex with her. It turns into more than that since they sometimes get food and watch tv together and he's dragged her to the gym way too many times with him. He has even fallen asleep a couple times in her apartment and holds her a little too tight when there finished at his place so that she won't just get up and leave, and she lets him. She's told him a hundred times that people who are just having sex with one another do not cuddle and do not kiss each other outside of the bedroom, and he has broken those rules just as many times as she has told him. Everyone that sees them thinks their dating. He even told her that the whole team thinks they are and that he hasn't done anything to make them think otherwise. She hits him in the arm pretending that she's pissed, but she actually isn't. She actually has even let him hold her hand when they are walking home from parties on the weekends and they have been able to hang out and sleep together without having sex.

Then he goes and opens his mouth the night before fall semester begins. He tells her that he wants to be official, that he wants her to be his girlfriend and that he doesn't want her to be with anyone else and literally goes on to use every way to describe a relationship to her and how he wants that with her. She doesn't know how to take it. She hates labels and she hates letting her guard down. When she tells him that she would never want to be his girlfriend, that he is really as stupid as she thinks to think that she feels the same way back and that this was just something to keep her entertained during the summer and when she said it was just sex it was just sex, it literally stings on her tongue. She didn't mean one word of it but it is her defense mechanism, she knew Finn could tell she was falling for him hard and he was trying to use that against her to put a label to this thing they had going on. His eyes could literally burn a hole through her right now. Then his eyes go a little watery and hers are starting to, as soon as he leaves and slams the door she goes into her room and cries herself to sleep.

She cried herself to sleep every night since then. He didn't acknowledge her at all whenever she would see him on campus. Her first thirsty Thursday she texted him a "Hiii" drunkenly and he didn't even answer. She drank herself into her bitter bitchiness the rest of that weekend and would go home and sob, and when her roommate asked her why she lied and said she missed home and never to tell anyone that she was crying. The thing that she really missed was Finn. It wasn't even the sex she missed it was him. The way he would kiss her and touch her and play with her hair. When she would study or do homework with him he would keep quiet and randomly sneak up behind her and rub her shoulders and kiss her neck and say it was motivation. He would always tell her how beautiful and sexy she was. He couldn't keep his hands off of her and would tell her that all the time. He was so protective of her too. Whenever they went to parties during the summer, they weren't the wildest or biggest but he made sure everyone knew she was off-limits. He would sneak kisses with her when she was drunk because he knew she wouldn't let him during a party sober. She missed smelling his hair and running her hands through it. She missed how gentle he was with her and how he looked at her. She missed how he texted her all day and always made her smile, how he would walk and meet her after the classes she was taken that she didn't have any friends in so she didn't have to walk alone. And the weird thing is she was totally nice to him, like as nice as Santana Lopez can possibly be. She smiled all the time with him and kept her insults to a minimum and talked to him about everything, like seriously Santana why wouldn't he want to make it official you were perfect together?

The second week of school went just like the first. He ignored her, didn't text her back and she couldn't stop thinking about him. She only teared up a little when she thought about him or found some of his clothes in her hamper, because honestly she felt that she was a little too cried out. She kept saying to herself "Jesus Christ Santana it's a fucking boy get a hold of your damn self. It's not just any boy its Finn freaking Hudson." But even in saying that she felt sad because she is right, it's not just any boy it's the boy she fell for. Hard. And was too proud to say she wanted it official back. She spent every freaking day with this boy and honestly? She was petrified to give her heart fully to him because it had been so hurt and damaged before but she should have known he would have been gentle with it just like he was with her.

When he walked into the same party she was at Friday night she went from 4 shots deep to like 9. She was downing tequila already but when she walks in she got up took the bottle and made her way to the kitchen so she didn't have to be near him. She watched from the kitchen how girls kept making their way up to him obviously trying to flirt with him. He is like the nicest kid in the world so of course he talked back to them and laughed with his guy friends and continued to just sip on his beer like usual. She just continued to drink and watch him. She felt like shit. She had never had been more jealous. Pretty much every girl in here wanted him. He was hot and in shape and always smells amazing. Some weirdo tries to come up and flirt with her but she was her normal bitchy self at first but the liquor was kicking in so she just stayed there. Of course when she looked up she caught him staring at her and he gave her the saddest but meanest look in the world. She ran over to find her roommate Jess and tell her they had to leave. Jess was getting with some upperclassman that was on the football team too and was really cool and knew a lot about Finn and their situation. She told her give her a couple minutes and Santana waited by the door trying to fall over and cry. Jess took it upon herself to find Finn and tell him how Santana cries every night and has been kicking herself ever since she lied and said she didn't want to be with him. He let out a big sigh. Santana didn't know any of this was going on so she decided to say screw Jess and walk home by herself. She was drunk as a skunk and didn't know anybetter. As soon as the air hit her she started to cry. They came down silently. Her arms were crossed and the only sound was her heels hitting the pavement.

She was too busy in her own thoughts to hear Finn calling her name. He jogged to catch up with her and pulled her by the shoulder back to face him.

"Finn….What do you want?" were the only words she could spit out and they were so shaky it scared her.

"Funny I was going to ask you the same thing."

She looked down at her shoes so that he couldn't see how red her face probably was from crying, but the tears just kept flowing. " I already told you what I want Santana, I want you."

She broke. Her tears weren't silent anymore. He knew she was a weepy drunk but this was different. He finally wrapped his arms around her and she clutched onto his shirt for dear life. He rested his chin ontop of her head and pulled her tighter. He listened to her breathing shake out of her nose. "Ive never cried this much in my life than I have in these past two weeks." She spoke still crying.

She kept repeating how sorry she was as Finn continued to walk her home. He held her hand the whole time but didn't speak much instead of the occasionally "I know". She could tell he is still so hurt and it's probably the reason she can't stop her tears, but she blames it on the tequila.

When he gets her in her room he tells her he's sleeping on the couch and will leave the door open so he can listen for her. She grabs his arm "Please don't leave me." She begged. He looks at her and she is trying to literally pull him towards her. "Santana I can't lay hear with you after all the things you said."

"I didn't mean a single one of them Finn, I just panicked."

"Why?"

"Because you're the only person that has ever said those things to me, and I didn't know how to take it, I mean both people I have ever been with never really wanted to be serious with me as I did with them. Hell when I told you we should be together in highschool you brushed it off as nothing and I just couldn't imagine someone wanting to put up with me and you're probably going to get sick of me like everyone else and it just scares me because I care so much about you and…

"Santana your rambling." She saw him pull out of her grip and then he slipped off his shoes and told her to move over. He layed down and they were looking at eachother and he brought his hand up to her check and started running his thumb over the bone under her eye that he found she loved being touched at. "I could never get sick of you Santana. It's weird I feel like I can never get enough of you."

She leaned forward and kissed him. She put her hand on top of his that was now resting on her cheek. When there kiss finally broke and Finn said "You have no idea how much I missed you." She nodded and told him "I don't cry over just anyone Finn, especially for two whole weeks." He smiled and kissed her so hard it was amazing.

"So is that offer still up to be your girlfriend." She said smiling


End file.
